CNN —
Inside the Mind of Braden Smith
While NFL players were focused on a demanding season, Braden Smith faced a different challenge: grappling with his internal struggles.
A Crisis of Faith
What was intended to be a playoff-bound season for the Indianapolis Colts became a turmoil for Smith, whose thoughts spiraled into concerns about his faith. His exploration of spirituality transformed into a profound struggle.
Understanding OCD
In this journey, Smith also confronted his obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), particularly a variant known as religious scrupulosity. This condition involves excessive anxiety over potential sins or violations of moral principles.
The Battle Intensifies
As he delved deeper into his faith, Smith faced difficulties reconciling his past actions with biblical teachings. He described his thoughts as a constant trial, feeling as though he was always under scrutiny.
A Turning Point
Last season, the weight of his OCD robbed Smith of the joy of playing football, leading to mental breakdowns and distractions on the field. Such experiences prompted discussions with his wife, Courtney, resulting in his decision to seek professional treatment.
Seeking Alternative Treatments
After a brief hospitalization and limited advancements, Smith explored the psychedelic drugs ibogaine and 5-MeO-DMT, which are illegal in the U.S. but not on the NFL’s banned substances list. His experiences in a controlled setting in Mexico, along with therapy, helped him make significant progress.
Continuing the Journey
Although Smith feels improved, he acknowledges that his path with OCD remains ongoing. He emphasizes the necessity of opening up to trusted loved ones, encouraging others facing similar struggles to seek support, highlighting its importance in their recovery.
